“Do Be De Doo”

Daisy has been sprinkled with fairy dust today!  OK, so they had to use a heck of a lot of the stuff but nethertheless she must have been sprinkled as she’s been an angel.  So different than two days ago when she had horns either side of her head and was ready to go to war with anyone in her radar.  That’s the trouble with Daisy, no two days are the same, nothing is predictable, plans cannot (and do not) go to plan all depending on her mood.  It unnerves me that she’s so happy because I know the bubble will burst, but I am going to enjoy her for the time being.

Anyone who’s ever helped care for Daisy will know that she has a ‘naughty noise’! The ‘naughty noise’ however is a fun noise, it is only heard when she is in a good mood. So,when I heard ‘doo be de doo’ in a high pitched tone this morning I knew something was up. I followed the tune and there she was, butt naked, standing in her brothers bedroom window, humungous boobs displayed to the waking world, waving her nappy – clean, like a flag and barking at a man walking his dog, (who nearly walked into a lamppost)……..dear god, she is absolutely bonkers and has no shame!  I waved to the man (with two fingers) and pulled down the blind pretty sure that one day she’s going to cause a nasty accident outside our house.

Isn’t it heartbreaking then, that this morning whilst she’s in this most perfect mood, I noticed two really nasty blisters on her heels.  She didn’t hobble or moan, she didn’t complain of pain because she can’t, I just happened to see them when I was dressing her.  The skin was broken and looked really angry……..she must have been in pain the day before but couldn’t tell anyone, this I find unbearably sad.  Imagine not being able to say how you feel or do anything about discomfort.  Daisy has always been really tough but still must feel pain of some sort.  I usually notice any mark or bruise (ask the school) immediately, so missing these blisters has upset me.  Poor little thing.  Plasters on, she’s oblivious.  Off to school she trots.


Oh my Giddy Aunt!

Can you get bird flu from handling a dead bird…….. in your mouth?  Just throwing that question out there.

Today, had been a really good day,  that is until a bird crashed into my kitchen window (annoyingly,  I have just paid an extortionate £25 to have cleaned).  Sadly the bird died.  This is a regular occurrence (must be those clean windows!).  I think this is bird number four to have perished due to my shiny panes, anyhow, less of the showing off, I shouldn’t be proud to be a bird killer!  In the past, I have had husband home to pick up and dispose of birdies or I have called upon neighbours, today I needed neither.

I studied the bird for at least 5 minutes through the glass until I was sure it was dead (feet pointing skyward was a bit of a giveaway but in the past I have screamed like a banshee when they come back to life just before imminent disposal).  I decided my best course of action was to ask my neighbour John to remove it from my patio when he was free, he’d love to be the hero.

Over to John’s I popped.  Daisy was sitting on the kitchen sofa.  John wasn’t in.  Daisy was not on the sofa when I returned.

Daisy was pushing her red bubble car around the garden……..nothing unusual in that, she loves that car, has never fitted in it but loves to circuit the garden endlessly by pushing it around and around and around; what was unusual was the black mass hanging out of her mouth.  Oh my giddy aunt!

I should have known not to leave the bird uncovered.  A similar incident happened years ago when she actually had most of a baby bird in her mouth (that was still half alive)  this time I felt luckier …….. not only was the bird dead, but it was too big to chomp on so removal was quite easy.  She was a little reluctant to hand him over at first but I offered a swap for two dummy’s and feeling sick, took it out of her mouth, (bloody hell it was still warm), she couldn’t resist those dummy’s.

I still feel shaken up……medicinally I have had to have several glasses of wine so excuse my grammar.  Daisy has been scrubbed, the bird is in the dog poo bin over the road and I am still in shock.  So, like I said at the beginning………can you get bird flu from handling a dead bird – in your mouth?  Lets hope not!

Who knows what tomorrow will bring

Dear Daisy

Who knows what will happen in the future?  Man has been to the moon, Doctors seem to perform ‘miracles’ on a daily basis, your father didn’t ‘kick-off’ when I suggested we look at a new property, so maybe, just maybe, one day your brain can be fixed.

I’m writing you this in the hope that “that’ day is not in the too distant future and you will be able to understand that everything I do – everything, is to make you happy.

I was broken hearted when I dropped you to respite yesterday………I hate doing it, I feel such guilt and it didn’t help that you wouldn’t look at me or ‘bow’ your head for me to kiss you goodbye.  Do you hate going?  Do you like going?  Do you wonder if I will ever be back to pick you up?  Do you care?  I don’t know how you feel, everything is guesswork.  You were so tetchy yesterday and I tried everything to just make you comfortable and happy but you weren’t playing my game.  

I sat for what seemed a lifetime with you holding my finger whilst watching endless episodes of Teletubbies.  I played your favourite tune in the car (on a loop). I drove to the park to take you to the swing (which you fell off).  I took you to look at the cows and horses in the field down the lane, you didn’t even react to them, you were so moody.  We single handedly added a big hole in the ozone layer with the miles we drove, yet when we got home, you still seemed so unhappy and irritated.  Are you suffering?  Are you frustrated?  What can I do to help you?

Unfortunately Daisy you’ve drawn a very short straw and you are stuck with me so we have to make the best of a bad situation.  You will never want for anything, I can give you all you need (thanks to your dad), but the one thing I can’t give you – yet – is a useful brain; that day will come, I’m sure of it, but until then we just have to get through each day, and if you’re happy we are all happy.

I love you Daisy, I’m just so sad for the life I’ve given you x

Wink wink!

Husband back in Africa.

Son back in Birmingham.

Just me and madam now.

Daisy doesn’t like me today……..she’s not in the best of moods.  It’s been a very long day, 4.45am was the start, now she’s drugged so I’m hitting the remainder of a bottle of Prosecco.

I’m unsure if it’s PMT she is suffering or the effects of glue!  You see, yesterday, as it was my hubby’s last day with me for a while, I thought I’d make an effort and glam up a bit.  So, out came the falsies…….no, not breasts, lashes!  I added the glue in a nice straight line and waited the 20 seconds as instructed on the package, damn that instruction!  Daisy saw her window of opportunity as the lashes sat on the dressing table and assuming everything is edible down the hatch they went.   What to do?  Would they stick to the insides of her throat and act like ‘car wash brushes’ as her food went down?  Surely not?  I tried to prize her mouth open but realised this was a bad mistake as she tried to remove my finger with her VERY sharp teeth.  I looked on the package (seriously, I actually looked) to see if it said anything about swallowing lashes, strangely, it didn’t – this needs to be addressed by the manufacturer in my opinion.  So, I googled ‘swallowing eyelash glue’ and its amazing how many dogs have swallowed it!……….Anyhow, assuming Daisy would have the same effect as a puppy , I think she’s going to live…….They have not re-appeared yet, I just hope they don’t get stuck at the exit point, that would be weird looking, eww!


Crappy Easter!

Today was supposed to be my lie-in.  Nick had offered to get up with Daisy so I was looking forward to an extra hour in bed.

Daisy woke at 4am, that wasn’t in the plan so I said I would try and get her to go back to sleep…….an hour of me screeching (and threatening death) later, Nick could take no more and took Daisy downstairs so my lie-in could begin at 5am.          zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

6am…………..I bolted out of bed, Nick was like a mad man, screaming words you wouldn’t want to hear on Easter Monday!  Daisy had in his words ‘shit everywhere’, but I think the problem began when he tried to change her nappy and had to deal with an up-the-back job!  I took over – bathing her, cleaning, stripping bed, steaming downstairs floor, the list goes on and on and on.

7am, my ‘fresh as a Daisy’ little ray of sunshine (grrrr) and I went downstairs, me desperate for a cup of tea, Daisy in need of food to top up her empty intestines.  As I walked through the hallway I smelt a waft of nastiness in the air – surely there can’t be more poop it’s not possible but there was a definite odour.  I checked Daisy’s nappy – nothing, I knew it wasn’t me, so just as I was about to question Nick I caught a glimpse of ‘something’ out of the corner of my eye……..a trail of brown ‘splodges’ followed me, bloody hell, I’d trodden in shit and now I had to re-trace my steps to source it.

……………When I ordered my ‘leopard print’ stairs and landing carpet (yes, you read correctly), I thought it was such a great purchase.  It looks stunning against a white wooden hallway floor, fits in with my modern contemporary home, but and it’s a big BUT, you can’t find ‘shit’ on it!!

Nick and I were on our hands and knees for at least half an hour….up and down the stairs, smoothing our hands across the carpet looking for traces of Daisy’s insides……..we still haven’t found ‘it’ so I’m hoping my slipper scooped up an entire lump, but I’m still on the lookout and definitely won’t be barefoot anytime soon.

Happy Easter!

Honey, I cured the kid!

Apparently, hay fever affects 25% of the population, so it stands to reason that Daisy decides to be one of the percentage!

She started suffering about 5 years ago…….first year,  just your usual itchy eyes and sneezing but jeez, by year two she really did suffer bless her.  So, Daisy being Daisy (and also being as daft as a box of frogs)  didn’t just rub her eyes when they itched she actually stuck her finger in her eye sockets and rubbed from the inside!  It was absolutely horrific to witness but we all know what its like once you start rubbing an itch, you just can’t stop, and Daisy was no exception to that rule.

Every anti-histamine was tried but none were a match for her index finger!

So, two years ago I thought I’d try local honey as I’d read it can de-sensitize the body to local pollen………..crazy lady I hear you say, and believe you me I’m the worlds number one sceptic, but what harm could it do to try it.  £6.50 later (better be bloody worth it) I started my daily practice of giving Daisy one tablespoon of the ridiculously messy gloop onto bread every morning……..it was great ‘cos I could even use it as a medication trap (her anti epilepsy sprinkles couldn’t escape the honey).  I’ll cut to the chase, it actually worked, really, no joke…….ok, so she still had one hay fever tablet occasionally – disguised in an Oreo, but yes, it actually worked.  I only had to rely on the antihistamine if she went ‘out of town’, those bee’s must really be homies!

Daisy started her new course this week, it will continue until roughly the end of June.

So, take it from me, if you have a child who thinks scratching their eye from the inside is a good idea, try local honey…..if it doesn’t work, stick it on your parsnips, if it does, thank me later!

p.s. don’t give to babies under 12 months……..not a good idea.

Is it still only week one?

Is it me or are the Easter holidays just the most horrid weeks of the year?  I feel so bloody irritated by everyone and I think it’s because I hate these two weeks.

Daisy has been sleeping well, she appears happy, she’s healthy, so why am I so unhappy? OK so my husband is home and drives me potty at times but this Easter he’s actually come in useful (not often I say that) as I’m using him to care for Daisy when I’m in work but then when I come home, due to my OCD I can’t bear the mess……….I should be appreciative but no, not me, I moan and get even more irritated.  He doesn’t keep the house as tidy as I would, he leaves crumbs everywhere, ‘stuff’ everywhere, his work is strewn over every surface, I just feel overwhelmed by mess.

I think the problem lies with the fact that I can’t think what to do with Daisy for two weeks………she can’t do what other children can do – go to the cinema, go bowling, ride a bike, go to activity clubs, go swimming (unless there is no one else in pool and it’s heated to the temperature of a bath), go for a nice leisurely lunch, go shopping…….you get my drift!  I get it that other parents struggle to entertain their kids in school holidays but with a child like Daisy it is compounded 100 times as she doesn’t even have friends, not a single friend,  she doesn’t know how to play, so I can’t even have children round to socialise.  She can’t read a book, hold a pen, do a jigsaw, finger paint – she can’t do anything!

I can’t tell her like my mum used to say to me endlessly “go out and play”, it’s just not an option, so I feel anxiety over how to get through these two weeks .  It’s not a time for family for us, we are alone, it’s just a time of getting through each day and counting down the hours.  It’s bloody suffocating.

So, it’s halfway through week one, still a long way to go;  I’m wishing my life away and just hoping Daisy remains happy for the next week and a half………it’s a long shot I know but maybe just maybe she will remain happy………….. at least that will be one of us.