Is it me or are the Easter holidays just the most horrid weeks of the year? I feel so bloody irritated by everyone and I think it’s because I hate these two weeks.
Daisy has been sleeping well, she appears happy, she’s healthy, so why am I so unhappy? OK so my husband is home and drives me potty at times but this Easter he’s actually come in useful (not often I say that) as I’m using him to care for Daisy when I’m in work but then when I come home, due to my OCD I can’t bear the mess……….I should be appreciative but no, not me, I moan and get even more irritated. He doesn’t keep the house as tidy as I would, he leaves crumbs everywhere, ‘stuff’ everywhere, his work is strewn over every surface, I just feel overwhelmed by mess.
I think the problem lies with the fact that I can’t think what to do with Daisy for two weeks………she can’t do what other children can do – go to the cinema, go bowling, ride a bike, go to activity clubs, go swimming (unless there is no one else in pool and it’s heated to the temperature of a bath), go for a nice leisurely lunch, go shopping…….you get my drift! I get it that other parents struggle to entertain their kids in school holidays but with a child like Daisy it is compounded 100 times as she doesn’t even have friends, not a single friend, she doesn’t know how to play, so I can’t even have children round to socialise. She can’t read a book, hold a pen, do a jigsaw, finger paint – she can’t do anything!
I can’t tell her like my mum used to say to me endlessly “go out and play”, it’s just not an option, so I feel anxiety over how to get through these two weeks . It’s not a time for family for us, we are alone, it’s just a time of getting through each day and counting down the hours. It’s bloody suffocating.
So, it’s halfway through week one, still a long way to go; I’m wishing my life away and just hoping Daisy remains happy for the next week and a half………it’s a long shot I know but maybe just maybe she will remain happy………….. at least that will be one of us.