Today was supposed to be my lie-in. Nick had offered to get up with Daisy so I was looking forward to an extra hour in bed.
Daisy woke at 4am, that wasn’t in the plan so I said I would try and get her to go back to sleep…….an hour of me screeching (and threatening death) later, Nick could take no more and took Daisy downstairs so my lie-in could begin at 5am. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
6am…………..I bolted out of bed, Nick was like a mad man, screaming words you wouldn’t want to hear on Easter Monday! Daisy had in his words ‘shit everywhere’, but I think the problem began when he tried to change her nappy and had to deal with an up-the-back job! I took over – bathing her, cleaning, stripping bed, steaming downstairs floor, the list goes on and on and on.
7am, my ‘fresh as a Daisy’ little ray of sunshine (grrrr) and I went downstairs, me desperate for a cup of tea, Daisy in need of food to top up her empty intestines. As I walked through the hallway I smelt a waft of nastiness in the air – surely there can’t be more poop it’s not possible but there was a definite odour. I checked Daisy’s nappy – nothing, I knew it wasn’t me, so just as I was about to question Nick I caught a glimpse of ‘something’ out of the corner of my eye……..a trail of brown ‘splodges’ followed me, bloody hell, I’d trodden in shit and now I had to re-trace my steps to source it.
……………When I ordered my ‘leopard print’ stairs and landing carpet (yes, you read correctly), I thought it was such a great purchase. It looks stunning against a white wooden hallway floor, fits in with my modern contemporary home, but and it’s a big BUT, you can’t find ‘shit’ on it!!
Nick and I were on our hands and knees for at least half an hour….up and down the stairs, smoothing our hands across the carpet looking for traces of Daisy’s insides……..we still haven’t found ‘it’ so I’m hoping my slipper scooped up an entire lump, but I’m still on the lookout and definitely won’t be barefoot anytime soon.